Here is a topic that we all know can go in several different directions, but remember that this is simply my opinion using my personally developed philosophy and not something that should be considered fact.
You, the reader, can determine whether or not you agree after reading this and I welcome comments as it helps me to become a better writer.
If you think about it, we all live in a fantasy world whether we choose to or not. Most people will symbolize fantasy as being strictly sexual in nature and that is certainly not true at all.
Fantasy is a simply a world we wish we could live in or experience but can't for one reason or another. For example a married woman or man will fantasize about being with another person.
Yes this can be sexual in nature, but the thought of being with someone who treats you good but your current commitment prevents you from being with them. This happens a lot with men and women who are really good friends, or BFFs, if we want to use some of today's slang.
Let's take a look at it in a different way. Jane is married John and they have been happily married for the past 4 years. Jane recognizes her husband is not as affectionate as he was when they first married but she still loves him. What most people lack in relationships they tend to seek out in their friends in order to fill that void.
In some cases you may have had a thing for that friend who helps you fill that void but they remain true to the friendship code and don't cross that boundary between friend and home wrecker. It is not uncommon for people to be in a relationship though and fantasize about what life would have been like if you dated that friend.
Would you be seeking out friends to fill that void? Do you think life would be any different than it is now if you had given that person a chance? Fantasies create a lot of "what-if" scenarios that make people's minds race with thoughts.
The scenario I talked about above is only one way of looking at the world of fantasy. Now, you are probably asking yourself how do we distinguish between fantasy and reality? Well, I can keep it simple and just tell you that reality is when you have fulfilled that fantasy. Here is a great example I discussed with a friend recently:
There is this woman who is happily married but the thought of dating her best friend has crossed her mind on more than one occasion over the years.
The fact she is married obligates her to fulfill the commitment she made with her husband but that is not to say that she doesn't fantasize about what life would be with that person she has known most of her life. Sometimes friends do not like to cross that line from friendship to relationship for fear that if it didn't work out the friendship would be completely lost. She knows that no matter how sad she could be her best friend was always there to pick her up and make her smile again.
Now, lets look at the sexual aspects of this friendship. She loves her husband and could never bring herself to cheating on him but she has many fantasies about her friend that she wishes she could do but won't. The reality of this situation is those fantasies can never be fulfilled without breaking that commitment and become known as a "cheater".
Because that fantasy exists and will never be fulfilled it will always be in the back of her mind. Now is there a way that this fantasy can be fulfilled without breaking her vows? Is it possible to fulfill a fantasy by creating another fantasy? Let's look at this concept a little further.
Some people see porn or reading graphic novels as being a sin or an inappropriate act within the relationship. On the other hand it does not involve another person directly so does that mean its not cheating? Is the fact that one person who chooses to fulfill that fantasy by living vicariously through another person who is turning their fantasy into reality actually doing something bad?
The only way to answer that question is to have a good understanding of what your partner's interpretation of cheating is? Does physical contact with a human being have to happen in order for it to be considered cheating?
Is fulfilling a fantasy but discussing it with someone other than your spouse cheating? Is sexting or exchanging graphic photos with someone cheating? The answer to all these questions can only be answered by what you and your spouse have agreed upon. Knowing the answers to those questions can help you better understand this fulfilling a fantasy with a fantasy concept.
Take for example the woman mentioned above. Those fantasies she has about her best friend will always be there until they are fulfilled. Can they engage in conversation that may be sexual in nature and discuss how that fantasy would play out?
Can they develop a fantasy world where they can fulfill those fantasies without engaging in physical activity with that person? Most people would frown and/or forbid this sort of behavior.
That is completely understandable and I would never condone any behavior that would lead to deception, cheating, and anything that would perceive to be inappropriate based on the type of relationship you have with that person.
Now think about this, she just fulfilled that fantasy through another fantasy thereby making it, in her mind, reality. Once reality exists psychologically that fantasy goes away. If you have a craving for chocolate you are obviously going to satisfy it by eating chocolate. Once you have it, the craving goes away.
That same concept can apply to fantasies as well, but is that method ethically justifiable?
Unfortunately I cannot answer that question because everyone interprets things differently.
To wrap things up, the world we live in is a reality. The world we wish we could live in is a fantasy. What we must decide as human beings is whether we want to truly live that fantasy by making it a reality either through psychological means or through real-life decisions.
In fact, our fantasies can be innocent in nature but turning it into a reality can have its consequences. Know what your boundaries are in your relationship and have a clear understanding of what you and your spouse consider acceptable and unacceptable.
Would life be easier if you allowed them to fulfill a fantasy with another fantasy? Would allowing them to do that eliminate any chance of it becoming reality?
Would your spouse have a bigger problem with you physically getting involved with someone else or psychologically involved or both? In the end we have to ask ourselves where is that line between fantasy and reality?
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