Allow Kids to be Themselves

I want you to think back to your childhood. As a child was there a sport or activity which you truly loved and were good at? 

Maybe you weren’t so good at it, but you still loved it. Or maybe your parents didn’t allow you to participate in it for whatever reason? Were you totally devastated and upset with your parents when you found out that you could not continue to participate in it?

Now flash forward…you are a parent with a son or daughter showing an interest in the same sport or activity. How does this make you feel? Does it feel exciting? 

Are you thinking “awesome, maybe I will sign up to coach since I loved this activity when I was younger and still love to this day?” 

As an example, you lived, breathed and still can’t get enough of baseball. Now your son or daughter begins to show an interest, in baseball. He/she loves playing catch with you at the park, batting practice or having a fun family game.

Registration for the upcoming season is fast approaching and you tell your child that you are signing them up. Happily they say “yes.” You can feel the excitement rise in you already.

So you follow up with the registration, and the first practice is upon you. Your child seems excited and so are you…..although you try not to show it too much! I mean this is about your kid now, right? 

So you volunteer as the coach. A couple of practices have been successful and your child seems to be enjoying themselves. 

But it doesn’t last! Your child seems to be losing interest, isn’t having fun and wants to quit. How can that be, you ask yourself? You have a talk with your child and inform him/her that you have already paid for the season and quitting is NOT an option. 

“I loved and still love this sport?” You are my child you will love it too just give it a chance.” Things don’t change and you begin to get frustrated with your child. You scold him/her when they miss the ball, or they strike out. 

Your frustration carries on through the ride home. All your child is hearing is that they are no good at baseball. Their confidence and self-esteem are already being affected. They don’t feel good enough and feel that they are disappointing you. You seem to always be mad at them these days.

You sit down with your thoughts and ask yourself, “how can this be?”

It can be because this child is NOT you! They may be a part of you, raised by you, but not a clone of you. Your children are unique individuals, with their very own likes, dislikes and interests. They do not have to follow in your footsteps. 

They need to be allowed to be themselves and to follow their own path, listen to their own inner being. They deserve NOT to be discouraged by those they trust but rather that you have their best interest at heart. 

Please allow your children to follow their desires, this is their time. Accept them for who they are, encourage their interests and uniqueness. 

Don’t try to relive your childhood through your children you had your childhood. Now allow your kids to be themselves!