While there are likely to be parts of someone’s
life that are going to plan, there may be other parts that are not. When
something is going the way one wants it to go, it is not going to have the same
effect on their life.
As it is going well, one might not even think about and it
could be just another part of their life. If, on the other hand, something in
their life is not how they want it to be, it may be end up consuming their
whole life.
This could relate to one area or it could include a number of
areas. However, even if it relates to one area, it could still be enough to
cause all kinds of problems. What this shows is how much of an impact one area
can have.
The Next Step
One may look into what is not working and see what they can
to make it work or they might do the opposite. In this case, one can end up
doing everything they can to distract themselves from what is causing them to
experience pain.
When this happens, the pain within them won’t be used to push
them forward. This may mean that one uses something to distract them or
consumes something in order to change how they feel.
Intelligence
If one does what they can to move forward, they might be
described as intelligent; whereas, if one avoids how they feel, they might not
be. Yet, just because someone avoids their pain, it doesn’t mean they are not
intelligent.
What it is likely to come down to is how aware someone is and
if they have the drive to move beyond what is taking place. One could have all
kinds of qualifications, but they might not realise there is another way or
have the drive to pursue the options that are available.
Another Way
When one believes there is another way and has the drive to
find another way, there is a strong chance they will move forward. What is
taking place externally is in conflict with what is taking place internally,
but that won’t stop them.
The first thing one may do in order to move forward could be
to go on the internet; they don’t even need to talk to a friend or a family member about what is going on in their
life.
Within a few seconds of searching, all kinds of answers will appear.
The Challenge
One may want to change their self-image, improve their
interactions with the opposite sex or to work on their boundaries, among other
things. The answers to these questions and many more will be found on a search
engine.
Once these listings appear, one will need to think about what
approach to take. This could be something that one is able to do without too
much trouble or they might end up feeling overwhelmed.
Information Overload
If one ends up feeling overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean they are
missing something; it is just part of being human. This wouldn’t happen if one
did a search and only a few sites appeared.
However, as one looks over the different sites and starts to
get an idea of what they can do to move forward, they will see that there are a
number of approaches available.
Inner Work
One may come across a lot of information that goes into on
how important it is for them to look at what is taking place within them. This
is often described as ‘inner work’, and it will involve looking at what one
believes and kind of thoughts they have.
Another part of this will be for one to get in touch with
their emotions and to see if they have an emotional build up that needs to be
released.
When one works on each of these parts, it will give them the chance
to experience life differently.
Corrective Experiences
One could also come across information that talks about how
corrective experiences can change their beliefs and thoughts.
As this happens,
one’s outlook will change and this is also going to have an impact on how they
feel.
In this case, one will need to have experiences that will
allow them to change what is taking place within them. This means that one’s
focus won’t be on their inner world; it will be on their outer world.
How Can This Happen?
One way for one to have corrective experiences is for them to
work with a therapist. Through their responses, one will not only be able to
develop a new way of seeing themselves, they will also be able to develop a new
way of seeing others.
It is not a case of anyone will do though; as it will be
important for one to work with someone who is able to offer the level of
attunement that they need. This is not something that can only be provided by a
therapist though, as it can also come from coaches, social groups and support
groups, and through spending time with the right people.
Letting Go
As well as this, one will need to cut back on the amount of
time that they spend with people who validate their old identity. This may mean
that one needs to let go of some of the people in their life.
If one was to continue to spend time with people who are
unable to support them, it is going to hold them back.
The corrective
experiences they are having will still assist them, but not as much as they
would if they were spending time with the right people.
Awareness
However, just because one is having experiences that are
corrective, it doesn’t mean that what is taking place within them can always be
ignored.
In order for these experiences to take root, one may also need to deal
with what is taking place within them.
This shows that it might not be a case of one of the other;
it might be that one needs to utilize both approaches.
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