Free Yourself from Preoccupation

We prefer happiness and pleasure to pain, so why do we continually keep judging everything that is happening around us. 

The answer can usually be found in the word – FEAR. And one particular aspect of fear is anxiety, where the thinking mind fixates on possible problems and provokes anxiety with worrisome thoughts, regularly disturbing our peace of mind.

When we engage in fear response (or worry/preoccupation), the higher functions of the mind project incidences in the past and project these memories into the future; our fear reactions are based not on an actual danger in the present moment but an imagined fear in the future.

Fear can provoke anger inside us; it can also generate emotions of hopelessness. Fear is certainly the core cause of the emotions of jealousy, where we are afraid of losing someone we think we need.

And fear lies at the heart of the feeling of abandonment and grief, where we’re afraid we can’t survive when separated permanently from someone upon whom we depend.  What it means is that we need to learn how to manage our fear responses so they don’t drive us crazy with worry.

The key to developing a successful approach to dealing with our ingrained fear reactions, lies in accepting that occasional fear reactions are a natural part of life. Whenever you are not in danger in the present moment, you don’t have to feel fear; you have a choice; you can let the fearful thoughts suck you in or you can choose to live in love mode.

Worrying gets us nowhere fast; chronic stress caused by too much worry generates mental and physical fatigue, confusion, impatience, difficulty in all aspects of communication and relating to others. Fear based worry is the number one killer of high performance while it numbs deeper heartfelt emotions.

So how do we purposefully break this grip of habitual worrying? Look at this anti-worry process of John Selby’s explained in his book Quiet Your Mind.

Step 1: What is the present or future situation about which you are worried? Take time to write down this worry in one clear sentence.

Step 2: In your mind’s imagination, explore the worst-possible scenario to the ultimate limit: What are you really afraid might happen?

Step 3: Surrender and accept whatever fate may bring you in the future; ultimately accept your eventual death.

Step 4: Now, using the logical reasoning of your mind, reflect, and consider if your present worry is realistic. Is your worst- possible scenario really what will happen to you in real life, or is it a gross exaggeration?

Step 5: Realize that the mental habit of worrying about a possible future event is causing you immediate suffering in the present moment.

Step 6: Move entirely beyond your worrying and shift into the present-moment enjoyment where you reap immediate benefits. Tune into your breathing…you’re heartbeat…your whole-body presence here and now.